Metalkabout bummer of a liver

Your mom's a drunk. Your dad's a drunk. Your uncle Floyd's a raving lunatic and a drunk.  Your grandma was a lush and a drunk, god rest her soul. Your boy Dennis is a sloppy drunk. You girl is a loose drunk. Your kid brother is a closet drunk. And then there's you:  The sober son who's never once tasted a sip of alcohol, even though statistics say you should be as drunk if not drunker than everyone in your family, because, well, that's how the cycle works.  It's a disease.  And you're its next victim.  Or so the story goes.  But you're defying all logic and stepping off the crazy train.  Fuck the disease.  Fuck the cycle of life that says you're supposed to be a no-good-for-nothing drunk.  You've got bigger plans, more sobering plans, and you're not about to mess them up by drinking even a sip of the poison that has infected your family for way too many years.  Generations, even.  Oh no.  You vowed long ago to stay sober and to make something of yourself.  The grand opening of Mikey's Top Shelf is just three hours away.  You're so excited.  You're so proud to be the first in your family to have beaten the disease of alcoholism and not let it stand in the way of your dreams.  Today, you are free.  Today, alcohol has no relevance in your life.  Today, you hope to serve thousands of customers the homemade beer you've been working on. Today, you become the ultimate enabler.  Cheers.